Married Yet Still Me

Don’t get lost, as you go down the aisle of life. You’re married, yet still you.  Keep that internal GPS of you. As you go through your life, dealing with troubles and stress you must always be able to find you.

Be a wife, a parent, and all the other titles you hold, but it is paramount that you don’t lose who you are.

Still go for your dreams, still do the things you love. You wear so many titles yet be the master of you.

You’re so unique and so needed, you’re beautiful, sexy, lovely all things soft yet so very strong.

Celebrate you, love you, inspire you, caress you. What a beautiful being you are, your husband knows, your children recognize, and the mirror reflects what’s inside. You said I do, now say it just for you. Repeat as you read.

I do matter, I do need time for me, I do love me more than I love you. I’m already complete, I’m sexy, I’m intelligent, strong, caring, never fearing losing myself. Red, white, fuchsia, pink all the colors of me as I think. Life begins with me, my womb is the world. I’m married yet still me.

That little girl who use to skip and hide is still inside, she just wants to play hide and seek so go find her.

You’re so unique, one of a kind and so divine. I’m married yet still me.

I have a spouse and I take care of all the inhabitants of my house. It’s clean, and well stocked so many things to do around the clock. I rise with the sun, yet at the end of the day there are still things to be done.

I must take some time replenish, refresh and unwind, it’s so very important I get my me time.

Tomorrow is another day I will answer the many calls of honey, Mom, boss, sister, aunt, friend.  After all is said and done, I must answer to one, me. Married yet still me.

Shh, come here, close the door make time for you, she is here you know and all she wants it time with you.

You will imagine, you will create, you will push and even vacillate, you have the ring yet above all, you are the main thing.

I love my husband we are the ingredients in this marriage. We make this thing called our life, he brings the flavor, I bring the spice.

My mantra is loving myself it’s contagious.  Because when you love yourself others will receive it and Love you to.

Women don’t be your own foe, Whoa! To thine own self be true. Always remember you.

I’m married yet still me.

Audrey Reed is a Life /Marriage Relationship Coach     Aka/MzLoveViewz 

I’m not only a Coach but I’m a product of Relationship Coaching. My marriage was saved by countless sessions by my coach when an affair threatened my marriage. Now it’s my turn to give back.  To empower couples and others to love again, believe again, trust again. @Ok2loveagain.com

Forward March!

 Move with momentum, in getting your life and relationship the way you truly want it to be. In order to do that we have to change somethings and implement some new things .In every area of your life there is room for improvement.  Push yourself,challenge yourself, go for your dreams. What is your passion, your destiny? A good time to get the answers to those questions is now, right now!   We can always look at someone else and point out what they need to do, but this questions is for you. Look around you everything you see started with a thought from someone, and yes they failed many times to bring it into fruition. It will take hard work, consistency, and belief.  You have to want it and believe that you can attain it and fulfill it.  I’m so inspired by these bloggers, don’t be afraid to just do it.  Failing at something does not mean the end, to the contrary it means try it a different way.  It not about how many times you started and stopped, because you’re closer then you was before, so start again.  Being accountable to someone gives you and advantage, because you won’t stop so quickly.  I have a challenge and a Dare for you, will you join me .

1.      The first one is for couples,  we have a 30 Day Love Dare, that we like you to join us in.
2.      For all the ladies married/ single please join me (MzLoveviewz) in a 90 Day Weight Loss/ Get Fit Challenge.

Please comment to inspire us also to let me know if you’re going to join us.  I will email you with details so we can have private chats and video updates for the 90 day Weight Loss/ Get Fit challenge. Please join us for the Couples Love Dare, this will 30 days of Group Coaching no fee so join in.  Forward March!

C’mon join me ! MzLoveViewz

Married And Loving It.

Marriages are failing at an alarming rate. Please remember God ordained marriages hold on to your fate.  Let’s celebrate loud and clear ,thank God for your marriages . All couples please share with us, how many years you’ve been married, and tell us something that works for you.

      Love Endures

That same love covers a multitude of sins without it there is no chance to win.

When I was in a state of confusion and pain, betrayed by the one who gave me his name.

Love rescued me from the deepest despair, took away the sin and wipe my tear.

It told me to forgive and go on and live. 

I forgave realizing I to was enslaved.

Here I am now safe and secure a testament how love can endure

My 1st love at my side all the pain I had did subside.

This is our story and not how we boast.

 Now raise your champagne glasses to make a toast,our marriage did remain yes God sustained.

 We are the coaches of Ok2LoveAgain!

Are you encountering any problems in your relationship?

Please call the Coaches @Ok2LoveAgain.com

We’re  here for you, call now for 

A Special limited time  offer of 50 %  off the coaching session fee.

347-330-6471

Love Under Pressure – 7 Key Factors To Keep The Love Alive

Definition of pressure: a: the burden of physical or mental distress  b: the constraint of circumstance:        the  weight of social or economic imposition.

 

This albeit is a difficult thing to do yet obtainable.   As I write in my blog, I want to share things that are encouraging, helpful, and things I experienced 1st hand.

Love under pressure is something I have dealt with countless times during my marriage. Be it financial, children, emotional, you name it we mostly have handled it. When you have two people that are committed to each other in love and matrimony, you just don’t check out. If difficult times come, (error, rephrase) not if, when difficult times come, the question is how do you handle it, and keep your love alive.

When I say alive, it’s because many times your love for one another will need to be resuscitated. Some people like to say “been through a lot but still standing”. I know what they mean but you can be still standing and about to keel over. The kick stand is about to brake.

Let me share what has worked for us,

1) Develop and have a prayer life with God.  The one that sustains you.

Anchor yourself in him, each for yourself and together.

2) You must speak your feelings, your needs and get a plan to tackle the difficulties.

Do not shut down and refuse to communicate. That is a state of withdrawal a divorce.

When you disagree, argue, drop the need to be right, let go of your ego.    If one of you loses you both lose so work on understanding the need or issue from each other’s perspective.  This is more about comprehension and compassion and less about who’s right or wrong.  Hear each other out, resist the urge to interrupt, say I told you so or criticize.  You may not agree and at times you won’t but just understand their perspective on it, and their feelings.   Connect with them if only in their eyes.  Like “ baby I understand”.

I realized earlier on in my marriage is, that if I tear him down verbally, by insults etc.  He is still my man and guess who has to take all that necessary time to build him up again, me.

3) Prioritize things, by order of urgency, at the same time do not shuffle your each other in the process.  He/she must stay at the top, all the rest of the people and issues in descending order.

4) Commit to a time just for the two of you.  During that time it’s all about the both of you, don’t mention the issues.   Whether in the bedroom or go release some tension by playing a game of tennis, basketball, play the Wii. Workout together to release that stress, and tension. Get couples massage, or to save money give them to each other.   Here’s a secret don’t give the massages to each other on the same day, somebody is going to get cheated because the one that gets the massage first will fall asleep.

5) Strategize, make a budget.

Shoulder the responsibilities, talking with bill collectors, which can cause a lot of stress therefore take turns, give the other one a break.  Be honest as possible.

6) When you’re under pressure it is not a pretty picture. It is hard to see them as sexy, handsome, now you’re looking at them with a critical eye.    Try not to internalize it because when you internalize it , it becomes a point where you will look at each other differently.  Almost as if you’re on opposing sides, it will begin to distort the relationship.  I would always remind my husband he’s not sleeping with the enemy, so don’t deal with it by his self.  Don’t go to bed mad and refuse to talk. This will frustrate you and in turn you will look for quick ways out to relieve the pressure.  Vices of every kind, the arm of flesh, gambling, alcohol, etc.  This is the easy way out and must I remind you the wrong way out.  Anybody can succumb to illicit pleasures,but it takes a strong mature person to resist the easy way out. When you’ve done all there is to stand, stand therefore.

7) Give each other a lot of praise and affection which will heal the little tears in your spirit and feelings of humiliation or of being inept.  It will renew your relationship like new skin.

Remember a threefold cord is not easily broken. That consists of the two of you and God. Which can handle anything that can come against you.

Keep the love alive, trust me the pressure will subside.  When it does love will still be there in full force.

Ok2LoveAgain Marriage/Relationships/Life Coaching

Call us for more factors to keep your love alive.

Coach Carl & Coach Audrey Reed

347-330-6471

Have A Sexcessful and Sextacular Year Pt 2

To have a Sexcessful and Sextacular New Year, with your mate you must put in the time and effort.

The bond you share with your mate is unlike any other bond, it goes to the core of your soul. Because you become one with them sexually.  That creates an unmatched relationship with any other creature.  The bible calls it to know them.

This isn’t the same kind of marriage you grew up on.  Today’s marriages and relationships have to deal with attention pulling from all areas, social media, twitter, Facebook, videos, TV, movies.  To keep your relationship fresh, and paramount, you do have to present your best self. Take a look in the mirror would you date you. Is there something you want to improve on, weight, body whatever to give them your best self.   Because we are inundated with sex,sex, sex,everywhere which in turn is a spirit of temptation.  

I stay in a sexy mind-set most of the time because I’m sensual.  I have to give myself props for this because I kept it contained for one man all these years.  Not that I didn’t have temptation or the opportunity but it’s a choice and I have power over that.  So say what you want, It works for me.  I love being a woman and now that I’m at this age it has increased to the 10th power!  I love finding new  ways to love my husband.

Keep an open mind ladies especially, update your knowledge and beliefs about sex.  Picture if you will a person that is paralyzed or handicapped in a way that does not allow them to have sex in the “normal” way. Yet they want to still be loved and be lov.ing to their partner so they have to come up with other ways to have that intimacy.   That may include performing orally, or with toys, or just touching certain parts of the body. They have to become in tune with their skin, senses, and mind-set.  Now that you pictured it , doesn’t that do away with being squeamish, or saying something is vulgar, or nasty.  Some of you may even say well my partner is not handicapped so we can indulge the regular way. That is true but if you have a partner that desires more and/or to bring another level to your intimacy.  Some of us received our information about sex from our upbringing, church, peers, and a lot of it was either wrong or outdated. That is why my opinion is a married couple should be the happiest of all. Because you have that trust between you and your partner to explore and to make it all about each other’s pleasure.   The goal should be to enrich the relationship sexually and otherwise.  Like “Alice and Wonderland go down the rabbit hole” You become aware.

Warning do not attempt any of this, if you have not taken care of your partners emotional needs.  Meeting each other’s emotional needs is the purpose of marriage.  Neglect of their emotional needs is the key reason for divorce .

 I have so much to share we have to make a part three. 

On the next article we will get to the juicy part, ( no pun intended ) ok maybe a little.

 

 

 

Ok2loveagain Marriage/Relationships/Life Coaching

Let us  help you get Sextacular Results!

Coach Carl & Coach Audrey Reed

347-330-6471

 

Have A Sexcessful And Sextacular Year

 Yes, you read it right,  this is a blog for married couples ,relationships.  I know what some of you are thinking ,she loves to talk about sex  and you’re right.  I’m legal, married and very sensual.  Yes I’m still saved and my husband is still a man of God. Let’s be real , they don’t really mention it in church, it’s like you have to go underground to talk about it. When you’re home it comes up after the bills, after the kids, after dinner, after cleaning, after sports and news.  Lights out and ok now we can touch each other late at night  like an afterthought.  Don’t take too long because we have to get back to the more important things on tomorrow.  When you do talk about it with your friends, afterwards you feel guilty like you talked about something dirty.  Not I, because it is part of my nature and I’m a very sensual person. I’m grown and married , not to mention in my prime .  

Most often during marriage at some point your sex life begins to wean. There are a myriad of reasons why, busy lifestyles,  kids , jobs, career, money woes, health,  etc, becoming a routine. So let’s prioritize it again.  MzLoveviewz says It’s Ok2sexAgain .

I believe married people should have the best time of their lives.  Especially sexually, that is our language of love to each other.  It is what God ordained for a man and a woman.

Sexcessful  ,meaning more intimacy, sex and lovemaking then last year. 

Some couples leave their zip codes to spice it up.  They go on a trip, to the Caribbean or Poconos, cruise,etc. But once they get back to their zip code back in the little box it goes. To the contrary, bring it on.

Whatever excuses you’ve been using to not engage, drop them.  Now there is no set time frame for frequency, some like it more than others.  What is your norm, just increase it and it will be conducive to your marriage. When making love you become one, that is the closest you can become to your spouse.

Be spontaneous, be intriguing, playful, flirty and daring. Tease, scream, pant , be erotic, romantic. Downright naughty.

 Do you have any inhibitions?  If you do, this is the year to do away with them.  You’re going to be sexcessful in 2012, because we ‘re going to delve.

Who is the initiator ?  Time for you to reverse the roles.

 Do you make noise? (screams) ughhhh  Silent lovemaking is for turtles, get out of your shell.

 Obviously we have more to talk about so there will be a 2nd part to this.  

Mmmm, yes I will call it positions, places and toys oh my.   It’s going to be Sextacular!

 

 

Ok2LoveAgain Marriage/Relationships/Life coaching

Contact Coach Carl/Coach Audrey @ 347-330-6471

Home ________ Home! (pt. 1)

Fill in the blank , because for some  when they think of home it’s not “Home Sweet Home! It’s more like Home Complaining home, Home Pressure Pot Home,

Home Tapout Home, Home Wipeout Home.  Ok you get the picture. When your mate comes home, they should come home to a clean house, a house with all of their comforts. When they walk in the door and if you are there, greet them, hug, kiss them. They have been at work all day , dealing with all kinds of issues, bosses, catty coworkers, deals went wrong or times when things went good.  The project at work was successful,  and they want to be celebrated at home.  They want praise, and that’s excellent honey.   Some people come home and they have all of those luxurious comforts, beautiful home , lavishly furnished, immaculate upkeep.  Yet when they walk in the door, they can’t relax there because of “don’t eat in the living room” ,” don’t eat that snack, I’m making dinner”  or “those snacks are for the kids”.  To many restrictions in your house, is making your house not a home.   It doesn’t matter if they used the glass without a coaster.  It doesn’t matter if they sat in the living room that looks like a showroom.  Let them relax.

Keep posted  I have a part 2, watch the temperature change in your house from cold to cozy.

Ok2loveagain Marriage/Relationships/Life coaching

We provide marriage and relationship and personal relationship coaching for “for couples, who are committed to “doing” whatever it takes to make their relationships work better.

Contact Coach Carl/Coach Audrey @ 347-330-6471

Keep em Open!

Mmmm, Here’s a little tantilizing tidbit to make it hotter! I know what you heard, and how we get settled in doing things the same ole way. Spice it up, switch it up , Mmmmm, come a little closer I tell you how. Ssshh c’mere closer, ok this is the secret.

While lovemaking Keep Your Eyes Open! Ta daa that’s it. Hey don’t knock it, try it . Especially us ladies with our insecurities with our bodies , we insist on lights off , eyes closed. Stop! Relax he is not focused on your fat pockets or this or that. Most men are visuals so keep the view  on you , it will enhance his feelings of you. Try it , may seem awkward at first because we are so used to doing it the other way .   Baby, keep those eyes open, keep the lights on and take your time.   Mmm, look into their eyes as the passion is unleashed and the only vision they have is you.   Guarantee they will be so excited and can’t stop thinking of you . Tell your mate the new rules it will be fun and exciting and  Sextacular !!!

Subprime Marriages

     Having a high interest , yet no adjustable lifestyle that is at a fixed rate.

Marriage on the rocks, yet the rock I’m talking about is ice, looks like a solid substance,but melting before your eyes.   Because to the eye it appeared that they had it all , money, fame, looks. etc.

Kim Kardashian and Chris Humphries marriage is over after a
multimillion dollar wedding event. Unfortunately this is the world in which we live in now.
Men have become lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God. (2Tim3:4-5)  Regular folk are even paying thousands of dollars on wedding just to give others a performance.
Like the Wizard of Oz, go behind the curtain and you will see a couple arguing
over the bills and what they paid for it.  They can’t deal with a problem let
alone another person.  Their foundation was weak built on pretense and
fairy-tale’s.   Marvel not they are not ashamed as you might think , this has become  the way of the world.  This society has become a culture of ON To The Next.   Fast food , fast marriages, easy come, easy go. This is a culture that has left God, out and for that cause it is sinking sand. Not preaching but the word of God is unfolding and you can see it.  My husband and I went to a wedding that must have cost over hundred thousand dollars, every guest was given a big gift box filled with expensive wine and expensive chocolates and crystal glasses.  We talked about how that had to be the most expensive wedding we had ever been to.  I even remember thinking what would I do with that kind of money. They couple appeared so happy, picture perfect, they requested on the invitation no gifts were to be given but just make a donation to their charity in our name so we can begin to be givers like them.  Sadly that was in 2010 now in 2011 we received word they are divorcing.  It was almost inconceivable , until I thought about the times we are living in.  Just to reference a different time frame , my husband and I were married at the local City Hall in front of a Judge on Friday the 13 , 30 years ago. On our 10 year Anniversary we had a real wedding and renewed our vows.  I think today that is what should be done after a certain milestone then have the wedding ceremony.  We joined a church during our marriage and was taught how to have a relationship with God for ourselves.  We were taught about married life, and how to be content in what ever state we were in yet go higher but be content until it comes.  True teachings that are scarce today we will always be grateful to our Late Apostle Morehead and his son our Pastor Bishop John Morehead and family that instilled so much in us.  The same circumstance today that we had yester year the couples of today would fold and do fold .  In my closing I just want to say put God first and the rest it shall be added to you.   He is the glue that keeps you together even when everything and everyone is falling apart.

30 Years- To God Be The Glory!

  We were so elated to celebrate our 30th year of marriage.  If you count the years we  dated , its longer than that.  We’ve been asked by many people , what’s your secret, the  answer sounds so cliché, ” If the LORD had not been on our side— let Israel say—”Psalm 124v1 (let Carl and Audrey say). 

The Lord truly has been the glue that kept us together, not just in name but inflamed with active love.  Both of us having a personal relationship with God, coupled with our love and patience  toward each other kept us anchored.  Of course there were countless times that we wanted to throw our hands up, but we talked and prayed and realized that was the easy way out.  There’s a situation, a story, or myriad of things in every relationship, that can cause it to end. Doesn’t mean it should or does.   Don’t take our story out of context, one part does not tell the whole story.   If you were not present and privy,  at the beginning and throughout our relationship, it would be hard to understand that a crisis of infidelity could not define our relationship.   The bible state’s infidelity is a reason for divorce,  it doesn’t say it had to be.   The choice was mine’s  alone and it was an easy choice for me than and now.     How can I say that , because aside from that , I  had no other valid, conceivable issue against my husband.  He was and is a wonderful husband to me.  You know that song that Jennifer Holiday sings and that verse , my life with him uttered those words literally . He is the best thing I ever had and there was no way, (cue music) I was living without him.   The defining part was he sang it first. ( I was expecting  Beyoncé  and dem to float out on a cloud and sing “we are a family” )  

     I know he is the one God ordained for me ,  because having my own relationship with God allowed me to be compassionate for  this Man of God .  I witnessed how he was so broken spiritually because he sinned against God , and broke a vow to his wife .   Although I was devastated, God used me to somehow minister to my husband in his fallen state.   I knew that ,even if we never repaired our relationship he was still a soul and he needed someone to intercede for him at that time.  Our love was stronger, than what came against it.  That was something meant for our demise, yet it gave us new life .   It allowed us to purposely choose each other again.  Nobody but God can do what he did for us. 

     So let it be no secret , put God as the head and the foundation of your marriage  and you can be sure the storms of life will beat against your  relationship , but with God on board your anchor will hold.  

(Cue the organ player, I need an usher circle  “breaks out in a praise dance”)