Archive | December 2011

Mirror Mirror On The Wall

Authenticate, validate, yourself. You are the fairest one of all.   Your competition is/ has and should always be you.  You’re competing with your younger self, your pre graduate, post graduate, pre-mature, post mature self, etc. You’re the only one you have to be in competition with. The best of you. It’s you versus the maturing you. The answer will always be you. You are the fairest one of all (of you), there is none fairer then you.

This is your year to live the life you pretend on facebook, twitter and any other social sites. This is your year to be in a real happy marriage. Not just a look but a lifestyle that matches the way you’re living.  Put in the work to fix what’s wrong.

You have one life, one you, one God it’s possible to do.  Put all mask away refuse to wear one.  That smile can be real no silent scream background. Get a confidant you can trust, may I suggest a Coach, like me. Set short term goals and long term goals and speak with your coach /confidant to keep you accountable to perform those goals. When you stumble say it, it’s ok that is a prerequisite to becoming who you want to be. When you pause, start again. Refuse to stop.  Pray, yes prayer is talking to God he is your creator. Know your fears, then face them.

When you look in the mirror, don’t be so critical, be kind, and yet fix what you don’t like.  Remember, it’s about becoming your best self. Not what society said you should look like or become.

Your life is not a one size fits all, neither is it a cookie cutter mold lifestyle.

Come out of your shell, if you’re shy, be more open and talk. People will speak back and listen. You have a voice use it. Don’t let anyone define you, that’s your position. There is nobody like youYou are unique.  Yet the ingredient that you are is so necessary for this world, your marriage, that friendship, that family.  You are needed, wanted and loved.  Priceless just because of who you are.

Forgive and be forgiven, if only from God and yourself.   Sometimes what we think we need from other’s we need to give to ourselves.  You are not the sum of your mistakes, failings, or any other baggage you forgot to check.

Live lightly, deal with things as they occur. Live with humor, have a buffet of laughter daily.  Be serious per situation, because in reality most of what you see and perceive is a farce.  And to think you’re judging yourself by these things and people.  When you live by other peoples standards it has a way of making your life grey, dismal if you will.  Live brightly, in color.  Your life has a color to it, people can see. It’s called your personality.

Get around empowering people, like minded people that support your dreams and aspirations.

If you’re lame, don’t be ashamed, just come out of your shell.  Get beyond your comfort zone.  Dare yourself, stretch yourself.  Act it until it becomes the fit you want.

Live authentically, be genuine, be you. Do not give anyone power of attorney in your life while you’re still capable to control it.

Ask yourself in 2012, as the New Year is ushering in the new and improved version of you.

Let your friends know I’m not ‘trying to be better then you, I’m becoming better for you.

You have one life, one you, one God it’s possible to do.

Mirror, Mirror, on the wall. who is the fairest one of all?  In this view it’s only you.

 

2012 The year to hire Your Personal Coach

Ok2LoveAgain  Marriage/Relationships/Life coaching

Let us become your coach for a better you today!

Contact Coach Carl/Coach Audrey @ 347-330-6471

 

Mad Dash

madd dash

The end of the year is approaching. That does not mean the end of your opportunities , continue to go toward your goals. It’s time to sprint! When a runner is approaching the finish line, he run’s faster then he did the entire race . You see the end now Sprint! #Coach Audrey

The end of the year is ap…

The end of the year is approaching. That does not mean the end of your opportunities , continue to go toward your goals. It’s time to sprint! When a runner is approaching the finish line, he run’s faster then he did the entire race . You see the end now Sprint! #Coach Audrey

How Do Women Lose Their Power

  Like a faucet that has a leak , drip by drip, overtime it amounts to a
 large accumulation.  Unless you stayed in the room where the faucet
 was leaking you wasn’t even aware that the dripping was a problem .
 He was in the room where the faucet was leaking , and that constant
 drip,drop,drip,drop, began to irritate him , and he decided to fix it or
 tune it out.  Most men tune it out , until they realize how precious
                         the substance of the leak was in a drought, and the water runs dry.
That analogy of the faucet depicts  the woman and that precious substance 
that was leaking the water, depicts her power, strength,
dignity, self-worth, her essence etc.
Water is a vitally important resource without  it  there can be no life .
Likewise of the woman and their power, strength , essence without there can
be no life , no birth , no cycle or circle of life .
If we as woman know our worth , how come we are not cognizant of losing it? 
I believe just like the faucet we give our self up in small ways , and after it is
all summed up we find we are depleted and no longer of any value.
Married or single women , we all began to yield , give up, or lose our power to
people and most often times to the men we are in relationship with.
Yes to the men we love.
Oftentimes we don’t realize until it’s to late. We see the signs in our relationships,
when the man take us for granted , stop their pursuit of us and become to predict
what our next move is and get complacent .
It is as if they say that we are no longer worthy of all that special attention,
we have become devalued or put on the rack of the mark-downs.
Listen to the drips:
We became to available to the man , we answer his every call, we became
predictable which leads to his boredom.  We put his needs before ours .
We became needy, always looking for approval, obsessed about his life
forgetting we had one before he came along.
We defined ourselves by his action toward us , if it was less than we expected,
we developed low self esteem.  We surrendered our dreams , hobbies, gifts ,
careers, desires.
We mirrored him so much till we lost our own identity and we couldn’t,
recognize our own face because it no longer looked liked us.
He became our world and we revolved around him, although he changed on us
like the seasons we kept that same exterior .
When he became cold and distant we didn’t shield our self , we tolerated the
conditions extremes as they were.
When he became hot and bothered we exerted ourselves to try to keep him cool,
 how can I make his day brighter, his nights cooler.
In the fall instead of leaves falling it was our hair ,our confidence,  our health,
expectations of change .   In the spring instead of flowers coming up resentment
sprang up, sadness bloomed ,confusion , doubt.
Yet we would continue to plant the same seeds of fear of losing the man yet
we lost ourselves.
Some how along life’s highway we saw a stop sign , and mentally we took it in
our spirits.   We stopped all the things that we loved to do for ourselves.
Of course he doesn’t treat us the same , we are not the same person he
met at the beginning of the courtship.
 
Put out a missing person report because that person hasn’t been seen in a long
time, it is almost as if she never existed.
Who will cry for her, who misses her style , her smile, her pride, her laughter, strength ,vision , dreams, desires.
She has been silenced , no voice ,no defense , no screams of no more pain,
stop I do matter.
Somebody, drag the lake she might have drowned, in that body of water that
formed from that old leaky faucet.
Written By Coach Audrey Reed

Home________ Home (pt 2)

  Relax that is the operative word, when you’re home you want to relax unwind.   Home is a place that should be   comfortable, a place where you can exhale,  and be free.  When your mate comes home it’s not a time to pounce on them with problems like the bills, things that are broke or any stressing issues.  As I said before greet them with a hug a kiss. a massage. Let them unwind for a few minutes, take off their clothes, shower.
Ask them about their day , if you’re not interested just listen , conveyed to them that they do matter.
Have dinner ,eat together, now it’s conversation time.  Now you can interject about your day,  things to bring to their attention.
Play it by ear, you know your mate better than anyone, try to gauge when to bring up certain things. When they seem stressed out it’s not a good time to bring up a topic that will stress them out more.
If you’re uptight use that time to unwind as well, make some coffee or tea, pray, sit silently. Just relax.
Little changes in your overall routine in your daily life can bring about big changes over time.
Perhaps your mate is not working at this present time, due to the recession and the economic times. That alone can be a stressing issue one that accompanies depression, mood swings, feelings of inept. Be very considerate for the one that is not employed. By encouraging them, reassuring them that it’s only a matter before some one hires them. Thank them for cleaning the house, helping out with the kids and the pets. Try not to say negative things even if you ‘re tired and frustrated, know that they are also.  Now the one that is not employed should plan their day where they are allotted time to clean the home , and help prepare the meals before the one that works come home.
Some of you may be thinking , they don’t deserve it , and my reply to that is treat them like they deserve it and soon they will act like they deserve it. Sometime you have to give what you want to receive .
In other words make a deposit before you make a withdrawal. It enriches the entire household.
I know there are some of you that have O.C.D.  everything has to be in its place, has to be meticulous have to be right where you left it . My husband has a form of it and at first it really made me upset, than I realized ok that is the way he is . But I also asked him to relax on certain things concerning his O.C.D. which over time he did which was conducive in us living together this long.  Compromise on both sides, everything can be worked out that will be accommodating for the both of you.
Check the temperature in your home is it cozy? How can you make it more comfortable. Have soft music playing , may I suggest a little instrumental jazz, or some kind of light music. I like instrumental because there’s no words just the music and it allows you to clear your mind without replacing it with words. Like you ever had a song stuck in your mind and it keeps replaying, like a jingle from a commercial.
Ok now you get the picture , take the restrictions off in the house. Must remind you that you’re in a relationship with another adult therefore treat them as such. Let them sit in that beautiful living room, eat on that good china. Let them watch the all-sports channel, or the food channel or my favorite the life channel. It’s what relaxes them, also do something’s that relaxes you.
Lastly I like to touch on  is the bedroom, yes you know I had to go in there. Your Boudoir, should be the most beautiful , sexy, comfortable place in the house.  The Boudoir is another post we have to talk about.  There should be no discussions about the bills, or any things to cause stress in that room. That kind of talk should be off- limits their. It can be a libido killer.  Everything associated with the bedroom should be comfortable, sexy, tranquil, romantic, all about the mutual bond you share and that is love.
Home Sweet Home!
Ok2loveagain Marriage/Relationships/Life coaching
We provide marriage and relationship and personal relationship coaching for “for couples, who are committed to “doing” whatever it takes to make their relationships work better.
Contact Coach Carl/Coach Audrey @ 347-330-6471

Home ________ Home! (pt. 1)

Fill in the blank , because for some  when they think of home it’s not “Home Sweet Home! It’s more like Home Complaining home, Home Pressure Pot Home,
Home Tapout Home, Home Wipeout Home.  Ok you get the picture. When your mate comes home, they should come home to a clean house, a house with all of their comforts. When they walk in the door and if you are there, greet them, hug, kiss them. They have been at work all day , dealing with all kinds of issues, bosses, catty coworkers, deals went wrong or times when things went good.  The project at work was successful,  and they want to be celebrated at home.  They want praise, and that’s excellent honey.   Some people come home and they have all of those luxurious comforts, beautiful home , lavishly furnished, immaculate upkeep.  Yet when they walk in the door, they can’t relax there because of “don’t eat in the living room” ,” don’t eat that snack, I’m making dinner”  or “those snacks are for the kids”.  To many restrictions in your house, is making your house not a home.   It doesn’t matter if they used the glass without a coaster.  It doesn’t matter if they sat in the living room that looks like a showroom.  Let them relax.

Keep posted  I have a part 2, watch the temperature change in your house from cold to cozy.

Ok2loveagain Marriage/Relationships/Life coaching
We provide marriage and relationship and personal relationship coaching for “for couples, who are committed to “doing” whatever it takes to make their relationships work better.
Contact Coach Carl/Coach Audrey @ 347-330-6471

Who Loves Ya Baby?

Who loves ya Baby?
Remember that little catch phrase from the television series Kojac?
When I was a little girl my father used that as a call and response phrase to say good bye.  He would say ” who loves ya baby” , and I would respond with a big smile and say you do daddy.  Recently that has been my catch phrase to my family, to remind them that I love them.  Who loves you baby?  It causes you to reflect and answer.  God above all else, love’s you , with a matchless love.  Remind your self daily that you are loved.  Know that your mate loves you.  Be confident that your mate is considerate of you and has your best interest at heart.  Remember that when you come up against pressure of any kind, on the job, bills,  even your own frailty .  Remember that when you come up against temptation, demands, ego.  Realize  they are praying fervently for you.  Your mate loves you more than you can imagine and they wouldn’t want you to fret, be discouraged, or fear.  You’re home take off that cape, you don’t have to be super man/woman .  Let down your guards ,  it’s safe here.  Love is here,  your every comfort is here ,your family, food, pet.   It’s good to know ,its your weapon against your foes. Go ahead, adopt this phrase.  Ask your mate, Who Love’s Ya Baby?  The Answer will be priceless!