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Heart Preach

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Practice what you preach.
Love should be shown and told.
The way I love is all year long.
Valentine’s Day should be an addendum of your love not a cue.
This Valentine Day love as a way of life,not a reminder to appreciate something you had all along. Love your partner with resources of gifts and the given. Gift them yes as you should in appreciation of their essence. Give to them your time, your attention your exclusivity of affection. Valentine’s Day is meant to be a continuation of appreciation not as a reminder as some think. If you need a day like a birthday, anniversary or holiday to remind you to show your love then you might be guilty of taken your love one for granted.
Love should be evident.
Everyday you share with your loved one is another chance to show and tell them how much they mean to you. Cherish the day each and every way. We sometimes take each other for granted for a space of time. The moment we realize it,we must correct our actions and deposit the love and care necessary. We women tend to be a little more emotional about this.
If you celebrate it ,Valentine’s Day should be an addendum of your love not a cue.

If you’re single make sure the same is true for you. Love and pamper yourself just because!

Married Yet Still Me

Don’t get lost, as you go down the aisle of life. You’re married, yet still you.  Keep that internal GPS of you. As you go through your life, dealing with troubles and stress you must always be able to find you.

Be a wife, a parent, and all the other titles you hold, but it is paramount that you don’t lose who you are.

Still go for your dreams, still do the things you love. You wear so many titles yet be the master of you.

You’re so unique and so needed, you’re beautiful, sexy, lovely all things soft yet so very strong.

Celebrate you, love you, inspire you, caress you. What a beautiful being you are, your husband knows, your children recognize, and the mirror reflects what’s inside. You said I do, now say it just for you. Repeat as you read.

I do matter, I do need time for me, I do love me more than I love you. I’m already complete, I’m sexy, I’m intelligent, strong, caring, never fearing losing myself. Red, white, fuchsia, pink all the colors of me as I think. Life begins with me, my womb is the world. I’m married yet still me.

That little girl who use to skip and hide is still inside, she just wants to play hide and seek so go find her.

You’re so unique, one of a kind and so divine. I’m married yet still me.

I have a spouse and I take care of all the inhabitants of my house. It’s clean, and well stocked so many things to do around the clock. I rise with the sun, yet at the end of the day there are still things to be done.

I must take some time replenish, refresh and unwind, it’s so very important I get my me time.

Tomorrow is another day I will answer the many calls of honey, Mom, boss, sister, aunt, friend.  After all is said and done, I must answer to one, me. Married yet still me.

Shh, come here, close the door make time for you, she is here you know and all she wants it time with you.

You will imagine, you will create, you will push and even vacillate, you have the ring yet above all, you are the main thing.

I love my husband we are the ingredients in this marriage. We make this thing called our life, he brings the flavor, I bring the spice.

My mantra is loving myself it’s contagious.  Because when you love yourself others will receive it and Love you to.

Women don’t be your own foe, Whoa! To thine own self be true. Always remember you.

I’m married yet still me.

Audrey Reed is a Life /Marriage Relationship Coach     Aka/MzLoveViewz 

I’m not only a Coach but I’m a product of Relationship Coaching. My marriage was saved by countless sessions by my coach when an affair threatened my marriage. Now it’s my turn to give back.  To empower couples and others to love again, believe again, trust again. @Ok2loveagain.com

Married And Loving It.

Marriages are failing at an alarming rate. Please remember God ordained marriages hold on to your fate.  Let’s celebrate loud and clear ,thank God for your marriages . All couples please share with us, how many years you’ve been married, and tell us something that works for you.

      Love Endures
That same love covers a multitude of sins without it there is no chance to win.
When I was in a state of confusion and pain, betrayed by the one who gave me his name.
Love rescued me from the deepest despair, took away the sin and wipe my tear.
It told me to forgive and go on and live. 
I forgave realizing I to was enslaved.
Here I am now safe and secure a testament how love can endure
My 1st love at my side all the pain I had did subside.
This is our story and not how we boast.
 Now raise your champagne glasses to make a toast,our marriage did remain yes God sustained.
 We are the coaches of Ok2LoveAgain!
Are you encountering any problems in your relationship?
Please call the Coaches @Ok2LoveAgain.com

We’re  here for you, call now for 

A Special limited time  offer of 50 %  off the coaching session fee.

347-330-6471

Love Under Pressure – 7 Key Factors To Keep The Love Alive

Definition of pressure: a: the burden of physical or mental distress  b: the constraint of circumstance:        the  weight of social or economic imposition.

 

This albeit is a difficult thing to do yet obtainable.   As I write in my blog, I want to share things that are encouraging, helpful, and things I experienced 1st hand.

Love under pressure is something I have dealt with countless times during my marriage. Be it financial, children, emotional, you name it we mostly have handled it. When you have two people that are committed to each other in love and matrimony, you just don’t check out. If difficult times come, (error, rephrase) not if, when difficult times come, the question is how do you handle it, and keep your love alive.

When I say alive, it’s because many times your love for one another will need to be resuscitated. Some people like to say “been through a lot but still standing”. I know what they mean but you can be still standing and about to keel over. The kick stand is about to brake.

Let me share what has worked for us,

1) Develop and have a prayer life with God.  The one that sustains you.

Anchor yourself in him, each for yourself and together.

2) You must speak your feelings, your needs and get a plan to tackle the difficulties.

Do not shut down and refuse to communicate. That is a state of withdrawal a divorce.

When you disagree, argue, drop the need to be right, let go of your ego.    If one of you loses you both lose so work on understanding the need or issue from each other’s perspective.  This is more about comprehension and compassion and less about who’s right or wrong.  Hear each other out, resist the urge to interrupt, say I told you so or criticize.  You may not agree and at times you won’t but just understand their perspective on it, and their feelings.   Connect with them if only in their eyes.  Like “ baby I understand”.

I realized earlier on in my marriage is, that if I tear him down verbally, by insults etc.  He is still my man and guess who has to take all that necessary time to build him up again, me.

3) Prioritize things, by order of urgency, at the same time do not shuffle your each other in the process.  He/she must stay at the top, all the rest of the people and issues in descending order.

4) Commit to a time just for the two of you.  During that time it’s all about the both of you, don’t mention the issues.   Whether in the bedroom or go release some tension by playing a game of tennis, basketball, play the Wii. Workout together to release that stress, and tension. Get couples massage, or to save money give them to each other.   Here’s a secret don’t give the massages to each other on the same day, somebody is going to get cheated because the one that gets the massage first will fall asleep.

5) Strategize, make a budget.

Shoulder the responsibilities, talking with bill collectors, which can cause a lot of stress therefore take turns, give the other one a break.  Be honest as possible.

6) When you’re under pressure it is not a pretty picture. It is hard to see them as sexy, handsome, now you’re looking at them with a critical eye.    Try not to internalize it because when you internalize it , it becomes a point where you will look at each other differently.  Almost as if you’re on opposing sides, it will begin to distort the relationship.  I would always remind my husband he’s not sleeping with the enemy, so don’t deal with it by his self.  Don’t go to bed mad and refuse to talk. This will frustrate you and in turn you will look for quick ways out to relieve the pressure.  Vices of every kind, the arm of flesh, gambling, alcohol, etc.  This is the easy way out and must I remind you the wrong way out.  Anybody can succumb to illicit pleasures,but it takes a strong mature person to resist the easy way out. When you’ve done all there is to stand, stand therefore.

7) Give each other a lot of praise and affection which will heal the little tears in your spirit and feelings of humiliation or of being inept.  It will renew your relationship like new skin.

Remember a threefold cord is not easily broken. That consists of the two of you and God. Which can handle anything that can come against you.

Keep the love alive, trust me the pressure will subside.  When it does love will still be there in full force.

Ok2LoveAgain Marriage/Relationships/Life Coaching

Call us for more factors to keep your love alive.

Coach Carl & Coach Audrey Reed

347-330-6471

Home________ Home (pt 2)

  Relax that is the operative word, when you’re home you want to relax unwind.   Home is a place that should be   comfortable, a place where you can exhale,  and be free.  When your mate comes home it’s not a time to pounce on them with problems like the bills, things that are broke or any stressing issues.  As I said before greet them with a hug a kiss. a massage. Let them unwind for a few minutes, take off their clothes, shower.
Ask them about their day , if you’re not interested just listen , conveyed to them that they do matter.
Have dinner ,eat together, now it’s conversation time.  Now you can interject about your day,  things to bring to their attention.
Play it by ear, you know your mate better than anyone, try to gauge when to bring up certain things. When they seem stressed out it’s not a good time to bring up a topic that will stress them out more.
If you’re uptight use that time to unwind as well, make some coffee or tea, pray, sit silently. Just relax.
Little changes in your overall routine in your daily life can bring about big changes over time.
Perhaps your mate is not working at this present time, due to the recession and the economic times. That alone can be a stressing issue one that accompanies depression, mood swings, feelings of inept. Be very considerate for the one that is not employed. By encouraging them, reassuring them that it’s only a matter before some one hires them. Thank them for cleaning the house, helping out with the kids and the pets. Try not to say negative things even if you ‘re tired and frustrated, know that they are also.  Now the one that is not employed should plan their day where they are allotted time to clean the home , and help prepare the meals before the one that works come home.
Some of you may be thinking , they don’t deserve it , and my reply to that is treat them like they deserve it and soon they will act like they deserve it. Sometime you have to give what you want to receive .
In other words make a deposit before you make a withdrawal. It enriches the entire household.
I know there are some of you that have O.C.D.  everything has to be in its place, has to be meticulous have to be right where you left it . My husband has a form of it and at first it really made me upset, than I realized ok that is the way he is . But I also asked him to relax on certain things concerning his O.C.D. which over time he did which was conducive in us living together this long.  Compromise on both sides, everything can be worked out that will be accommodating for the both of you.
Check the temperature in your home is it cozy? How can you make it more comfortable. Have soft music playing , may I suggest a little instrumental jazz, or some kind of light music. I like instrumental because there’s no words just the music and it allows you to clear your mind without replacing it with words. Like you ever had a song stuck in your mind and it keeps replaying, like a jingle from a commercial.
Ok now you get the picture , take the restrictions off in the house. Must remind you that you’re in a relationship with another adult therefore treat them as such. Let them sit in that beautiful living room, eat on that good china. Let them watch the all-sports channel, or the food channel or my favorite the life channel. It’s what relaxes them, also do something’s that relaxes you.
Lastly I like to touch on  is the bedroom, yes you know I had to go in there. Your Boudoir, should be the most beautiful , sexy, comfortable place in the house.  The Boudoir is another post we have to talk about.  There should be no discussions about the bills, or any things to cause stress in that room. That kind of talk should be off- limits their. It can be a libido killer.  Everything associated with the bedroom should be comfortable, sexy, tranquil, romantic, all about the mutual bond you share and that is love.
Home Sweet Home!
Ok2loveagain Marriage/Relationships/Life coaching
We provide marriage and relationship and personal relationship coaching for “for couples, who are committed to “doing” whatever it takes to make their relationships work better.
Contact Coach Carl/Coach Audrey @ 347-330-6471

Home ________ Home! (pt. 1)

Fill in the blank , because for some  when they think of home it’s not “Home Sweet Home! It’s more like Home Complaining home, Home Pressure Pot Home,
Home Tapout Home, Home Wipeout Home.  Ok you get the picture. When your mate comes home, they should come home to a clean house, a house with all of their comforts. When they walk in the door and if you are there, greet them, hug, kiss them. They have been at work all day , dealing with all kinds of issues, bosses, catty coworkers, deals went wrong or times when things went good.  The project at work was successful,  and they want to be celebrated at home.  They want praise, and that’s excellent honey.   Some people come home and they have all of those luxurious comforts, beautiful home , lavishly furnished, immaculate upkeep.  Yet when they walk in the door, they can’t relax there because of “don’t eat in the living room” ,” don’t eat that snack, I’m making dinner”  or “those snacks are for the kids”.  To many restrictions in your house, is making your house not a home.   It doesn’t matter if they used the glass without a coaster.  It doesn’t matter if they sat in the living room that looks like a showroom.  Let them relax.

Keep posted  I have a part 2, watch the temperature change in your house from cold to cozy.

Ok2loveagain Marriage/Relationships/Life coaching
We provide marriage and relationship and personal relationship coaching for “for couples, who are committed to “doing” whatever it takes to make their relationships work better.
Contact Coach Carl/Coach Audrey @ 347-330-6471

Who Loves Ya Baby?

Who loves ya Baby?
Remember that little catch phrase from the television series Kojac?
When I was a little girl my father used that as a call and response phrase to say good bye.  He would say ” who loves ya baby” , and I would respond with a big smile and say you do daddy.  Recently that has been my catch phrase to my family, to remind them that I love them.  Who loves you baby?  It causes you to reflect and answer.  God above all else, love’s you , with a matchless love.  Remind your self daily that you are loved.  Know that your mate loves you.  Be confident that your mate is considerate of you and has your best interest at heart.  Remember that when you come up against pressure of any kind, on the job, bills,  even your own frailty .  Remember that when you come up against temptation, demands, ego.  Realize  they are praying fervently for you.  Your mate loves you more than you can imagine and they wouldn’t want you to fret, be discouraged, or fear.  You’re home take off that cape, you don’t have to be super man/woman .  Let down your guards ,  it’s safe here.  Love is here,  your every comfort is here ,your family, food, pet.   It’s good to know ,its your weapon against your foes. Go ahead, adopt this phrase.  Ask your mate, Who Love’s Ya Baby?  The Answer will be priceless!

Subprime Marriages

     Having a high interest , yet no adjustable lifestyle that is at a fixed rate.
Marriage on the rocks, yet the rock I’m talking about is ice, looks like a solid substance,but melting before your eyes.   Because to the eye it appeared that they had it all , money, fame, looks. etc.
Kim Kardashian and Chris Humphries marriage is over after a
multimillion dollar wedding event. Unfortunately this is the world in which we live in now.
Men have become lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God. (2Tim3:4-5)  Regular folk are even paying thousands of dollars on wedding just to give others a performance.
Like the Wizard of Oz, go behind the curtain and you will see a couple arguing
over the bills and what they paid for it.  They can’t deal with a problem let
alone another person.  Their foundation was weak built on pretense and
fairy-tale’s.   Marvel not they are not ashamed as you might think , this has become  the way of the world.  This society has become a culture of ON To The Next.   Fast food , fast marriages, easy come, easy go. This is a culture that has left God, out and for that cause it is sinking sand. Not preaching but the word of God is unfolding and you can see it.  My husband and I went to a wedding that must have cost over hundred thousand dollars, every guest was given a big gift box filled with expensive wine and expensive chocolates and crystal glasses.  We talked about how that had to be the most expensive wedding we had ever been to.  I even remember thinking what would I do with that kind of money. They couple appeared so happy, picture perfect, they requested on the invitation no gifts were to be given but just make a donation to their charity in our name so we can begin to be givers like them.  Sadly that was in 2010 now in 2011 we received word they are divorcing.  It was almost inconceivable , until I thought about the times we are living in.  Just to reference a different time frame , my husband and I were married at the local City Hall in front of a Judge on Friday the 13 , 30 years ago. On our 10 year Anniversary we had a real wedding and renewed our vows.  I think today that is what should be done after a certain milestone then have the wedding ceremony.  We joined a church during our marriage and was taught how to have a relationship with God for ourselves.  We were taught about married life, and how to be content in what ever state we were in yet go higher but be content until it comes.  True teachings that are scarce today we will always be grateful to our Late Apostle Morehead and his son our Pastor Bishop John Morehead and family that instilled so much in us.  The same circumstance today that we had yester year the couples of today would fold and do fold .  In my closing I just want to say put God first and the rest it shall be added to you.   He is the glue that keeps you together even when everything and everyone is falling apart.

Love’s Signature Is The Kiss

  Kissing is like the licking of the envelope for love, it seals it. Each person kiss is different, is so sensual and extremely intimate. Do you kiss while making love? You may think that is a silly question,  but it’s not. Couples, remember when you were dating, you talked a lot  then came the kiss.  It was exciting, sexy, fun, flirty. Now it seems like an old acquaintance, it seems that the longer you’re in a relationship, that’s the first thing to go. It happens subtly, the novelty wears off the busier we are and the monotony sets in. Life begins to get so hurried that in the relationship things that were first begins to take a back seat . We start to bump lips, I call it or peck and that is not a signature( lol) that is like writing your initials.  Kissing is extremely intimate, just as intimate if not more than sex. Case in point ex: Prostitutes refuse to kiss their John’s because of the emotional intimacy of the act.  So couples be very vigilant , reflect back on how you two romanced each other, and go back to those basic steps.  Take the time to french kiss each other, it takes a few seconds but it will add time to your relationship keeping it fresh and active. Try to be different each time , change it up, you know bite the lip, flick the tongue , and it doesn’t have to be on the mouth all the time.  Kiss on the neck, lower, higher, just keep kissing, the passion will stay active.  If you realize you stopped and you got into a routine of bump kissing, shock them the next time you give them a kiss make it long and passionate. You don’t want to have them craving for something that is already in the house. The worst thing is to find your self with a roommate who you occasionally have sex with. I like to say keep the (y) in sexy otherwise it’s just sex.   Love’s signature is the kiss , so start signing !

30 Years- To God Be The Glory!

  We were so elated to celebrate our 30th year of marriage.  If you count the years we  dated , its longer than that.  We’ve been asked by many people , what’s your secret, the  answer sounds so cliché, ” If the LORD had not been on our side— let Israel say—”Psalm 124v1 (let Carl and Audrey say). 

The Lord truly has been the glue that kept us together, not just in name but inflamed with active love.  Both of us having a personal relationship with God, coupled with our love and patience  toward each other kept us anchored.  Of course there were countless times that we wanted to throw our hands up, but we talked and prayed and realized that was the easy way out.  There’s a situation, a story, or myriad of things in every relationship, that can cause it to end. Doesn’t mean it should or does.   Don’t take our story out of context, one part does not tell the whole story.   If you were not present and privy,  at the beginning and throughout our relationship, it would be hard to understand that a crisis of infidelity could not define our relationship.   The bible state’s infidelity is a reason for divorce,  it doesn’t say it had to be.   The choice was mine’s  alone and it was an easy choice for me than and now.     How can I say that , because aside from that , I  had no other valid, conceivable issue against my husband.  He was and is a wonderful husband to me.  You know that song that Jennifer Holiday sings and that verse , my life with him uttered those words literally . He is the best thing I ever had and there was no way, (cue music) I was living without him.   The defining part was he sang it first. ( I was expecting  Beyoncé  and dem to float out on a cloud and sing “we are a family” )  

     I know he is the one God ordained for me ,  because having my own relationship with God allowed me to be compassionate for  this Man of God .  I witnessed how he was so broken spiritually because he sinned against God , and broke a vow to his wife .   Although I was devastated, God used me to somehow minister to my husband in his fallen state.   I knew that ,even if we never repaired our relationship he was still a soul and he needed someone to intercede for him at that time.  Our love was stronger, than what came against it.  That was something meant for our demise, yet it gave us new life .   It allowed us to purposely choose each other again.  Nobody but God can do what he did for us. 

     So let it be no secret , put God as the head and the foundation of your marriage  and you can be sure the storms of life will beat against your  relationship , but with God on board your anchor will hold.  

(Cue the organ player, I need an usher circle  “breaks out in a praise dance”)