Relax that is the operative word, when you’re home you want to relax unwind. Home is a place that should be comfortable, a place where you can exhale, and be free. When your mate comes home it’s not a time to pounce on them with problems like the bills, things that are broke or any stressing issues. As I said before greet them with a hug a kiss. a massage. Let them unwind for a few minutes, take off their clothes, shower.
Ask them about their day , if you’re not interested just listen , conveyed to them that they do matter.
Have dinner ,eat together, now it’s conversation time. Now you can interject about your day, things to bring to their attention.
Play it by ear, you know your mate better than anyone, try to gauge when to bring up certain things. When they seem stressed out it’s not a good time to bring up a topic that will stress them out more.
If you’re uptight use that time to unwind as well, make some coffee or tea, pray, sit silently. Just relax.
Little changes in your overall routine in your daily life can bring about big changes over time.
Perhaps your mate is not working at this present time, due to the recession and the economic times. That alone can be a stressing issue one that accompanies depression, mood swings, feelings of inept. Be very considerate for the one that is not employed. By encouraging them, reassuring them that it’s only a matter before some one hires them. Thank them for cleaning the house, helping out with the kids and the pets. Try not to say negative things even if you ‘re tired and frustrated, know that they are also. Now the one that is not employed should plan their day where they are allotted time to clean the home , and help prepare the meals before the one that works come home.
Some of you may be thinking , they don’t deserve it , and my reply to that is treat them like they deserve it and soon they will act like they deserve it. Sometime you have to give what you want to receive .
In other words make a deposit before you make a withdrawal. It enriches the entire household.
I know there are some of you that have O.C.D. everything has to be in its place, has to be meticulous have to be right where you left it . My husband has a form of it and at first it really made me upset, than I realized ok that is the way he is . But I also asked him to relax on certain things concerning his O.C.D. which over time he did which was conducive in us living together this long. Compromise on both sides, everything can be worked out that will be accommodating for the both of you.
Check the temperature in your home is it cozy? How can you make it more comfortable. Have soft music playing , may I suggest a little instrumental jazz, or some kind of light music. I like instrumental because there’s no words just the music and it allows you to clear your mind without replacing it with words. Like you ever had a song stuck in your mind and it keeps replaying, like a jingle from a commercial.
Ok now you get the picture , take the restrictions off in the house. Must remind you that you’re in a relationship with another adult therefore treat them as such. Let them sit in that beautiful living room, eat on that good china. Let them watch the all-sports channel, or the food channel or my favorite the life channel. It’s what relaxes them, also do something’s that relaxes you.
Lastly I like to touch on is the bedroom, yes you know I had to go in there. Your Boudoir, should be the most beautiful , sexy, comfortable place in the house. The Boudoir is another post we have to talk about. There should be no discussions about the bills, or any things to cause stress in that room. That kind of talk should be off- limits their. It can be a libido killer. Everything associated with the bedroom should be comfortable, sexy, tranquil, romantic, all about the mutual bond you share and that is love.
Home Sweet Home!
Ok2loveagain Marriage/Relationships/Life coaching
We provide marriage and relationship and personal relationship coaching for “for couples, who are committed to “doing” whatever it takes to make their relationships work better.
Contact Coach Carl/Coach Audrey @ 347-330-6471