Tag Archive | romance

Love Under Pressure – 7 Key Factors To Keep The Love Alive

Definition of pressure: a: the burden of physical or mental distress  b: the constraint of circumstance:        the  weight of social or economic imposition.

 

This albeit is a difficult thing to do yet obtainable.   As I write in my blog, I want to share things that are encouraging, helpful, and things I experienced 1st hand.

Love under pressure is something I have dealt with countless times during my marriage. Be it financial, children, emotional, you name it we mostly have handled it. When you have two people that are committed to each other in love and matrimony, you just don’t check out. If difficult times come, (error, rephrase) not if, when difficult times come, the question is how do you handle it, and keep your love alive.

When I say alive, it’s because many times your love for one another will need to be resuscitated. Some people like to say “been through a lot but still standing”. I know what they mean but you can be still standing and about to keel over. The kick stand is about to brake.

Let me share what has worked for us,

1) Develop and have a prayer life with God.  The one that sustains you.

Anchor yourself in him, each for yourself and together.

2) You must speak your feelings, your needs and get a plan to tackle the difficulties.

Do not shut down and refuse to communicate. That is a state of withdrawal a divorce.

When you disagree, argue, drop the need to be right, let go of your ego.    If one of you loses you both lose so work on understanding the need or issue from each other’s perspective.  This is more about comprehension and compassion and less about who’s right or wrong.  Hear each other out, resist the urge to interrupt, say I told you so or criticize.  You may not agree and at times you won’t but just understand their perspective on it, and their feelings.   Connect with them if only in their eyes.  Like “ baby I understand”.

I realized earlier on in my marriage is, that if I tear him down verbally, by insults etc.  He is still my man and guess who has to take all that necessary time to build him up again, me.

3) Prioritize things, by order of urgency, at the same time do not shuffle your each other in the process.  He/she must stay at the top, all the rest of the people and issues in descending order.

4) Commit to a time just for the two of you.  During that time it’s all about the both of you, don’t mention the issues.   Whether in the bedroom or go release some tension by playing a game of tennis, basketball, play the Wii. Workout together to release that stress, and tension. Get couples massage, or to save money give them to each other.   Here’s a secret don’t give the massages to each other on the same day, somebody is going to get cheated because the one that gets the massage first will fall asleep.

5) Strategize, make a budget.

Shoulder the responsibilities, talking with bill collectors, which can cause a lot of stress therefore take turns, give the other one a break.  Be honest as possible.

6) When you’re under pressure it is not a pretty picture. It is hard to see them as sexy, handsome, now you’re looking at them with a critical eye.    Try not to internalize it because when you internalize it , it becomes a point where you will look at each other differently.  Almost as if you’re on opposing sides, it will begin to distort the relationship.  I would always remind my husband he’s not sleeping with the enemy, so don’t deal with it by his self.  Don’t go to bed mad and refuse to talk. This will frustrate you and in turn you will look for quick ways out to relieve the pressure.  Vices of every kind, the arm of flesh, gambling, alcohol, etc.  This is the easy way out and must I remind you the wrong way out.  Anybody can succumb to illicit pleasures,but it takes a strong mature person to resist the easy way out. When you’ve done all there is to stand, stand therefore.

7) Give each other a lot of praise and affection which will heal the little tears in your spirit and feelings of humiliation or of being inept.  It will renew your relationship like new skin.

Remember a threefold cord is not easily broken. That consists of the two of you and God. Which can handle anything that can come against you.

Keep the love alive, trust me the pressure will subside.  When it does love will still be there in full force.

Ok2LoveAgain Marriage/Relationships/Life Coaching

Call us for more factors to keep your love alive.

Coach Carl & Coach Audrey Reed

347-330-6471

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Have A Sexcessful And Sextacular New Year! pt 3

 Welcome to the Pleasuredom!

Variety is the key, try not to get into a routine. This can be hard with our busy lives but we have to  be vigilant so we can be spontaneous.

Now every time you indulge it doesn’t have to be romantic . Men sometime want to forego the romance and go for the quickie, the freaky, the wild yet all the time keep the respect and loving bond.

This is the Darling Menu , everything you can get from your darling.

Take advantage of his morning salute.

Kiss from head to toe , get lost along the way.

When no one else is home declare your house a nudist camp and do everything in the nude together.

Have dessert on them like a plate.

Blindfold and tie your mate up.

Video tape your sexcapades than watch and enjoy then erase.

Go on a sexual fast, no sex only touch and arousal touch for 10-20-30 days. Then come back together for a renewed heightened experience.   If you do decide to do this you must pick up in the other areas, massage, spa time at home or away, touching to arousal but not indulging. Talking sexy, sexting, little gifts, immersing yourself in loving each other,

Don’t just rekindle, do some new things.

When was the last time you took a shower together?

How about a bubble bath, if you can’t fit in your tub google a hotel that has a Jacuzzi.

Where there is a desire, than you have fuel for the fire.

Midnight picnic in your home.

Try different positions, see how limber you are.

Do it now while you can still do the positions.

Tell your mate exactly what you want, need, if they don’t know tell them verbatim. Show and tell them.

What are your fantasies, your imagination for your intimacy?

Role play, dress up, play truth or dare in the bedroom.

Tie up and blind fold.

Perform a strip tease, lap dance for your mate

Have fun be childlike with adult freedom.

It’s ok that is your partner, you’re adults, enjoy each other.

Change your roles if you’re a professional in your career, when you come home totally relax, switch gears.

Become playful, flirty, and romantic. If you’re use to being the initiator, relax it’s time for your mate to take charge.

I have much more recipes on the menu but I will save for other sextacular articles.

My basis for this article is to encourage you to enjoy one another. Let nothing or no one hinder you from fulfilling your partners desires, and loving them to best of your ability.

It has nothing to do with either you do it or someone else will, that may be true. We are not animals that act on instinct. That is a choice. Put all that energy into your relationship and you will have a  Sexcessful and Sextacular  year and life. This is all conducive to a happier relationship and a happier you. Which makes it Sexcellent

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Ok2LoveAgain  Marriage/Relationships/Life Coaching
Let us  help you get Sextacular Results!
Coach Carl & Coach Audrey Reed
347-330-6471

Keep em Open!

Mmmm, Here’s a little tantilizing tidbit to make it hotter! I know what you heard, and how we get settled in doing things the same ole way. Spice it up, switch it up , Mmmmm, come a little closer I tell you how. Ssshh c’mere closer, ok this is the secret.

While lovemaking Keep Your Eyes Open! Ta daa that’s it. Hey don’t knock it, try it . Especially us ladies with our insecurities with our bodies , we insist on lights off , eyes closed. Stop! Relax he is not focused on your fat pockets or this or that. Most men are visuals so keep the view  on you , it will enhance his feelings of you. Try it , may seem awkward at first because we are so used to doing it the other way .   Baby, keep those eyes open, keep the lights on and take your time.   Mmm, look into their eyes as the passion is unleashed and the only vision they have is you.   Guarantee they will be so excited and can’t stop thinking of you . Tell your mate the new rules it will be fun and exciting and  Sextacular !!!